Thread: Funny things people say unintentionally.

My mates girlfriend was telling him how she wanted to learn the guitar, when he asked what kind she innocently replied "the autistic kind"!

My girlfiend is Icelandic and whilst her English is fine (apart from the sometimes annoying American twang) she gets her words mixed up and comes out with some silly stuff. The other day she did something really stupid and when I asked why she did it she said that it was he "unconsciousness" that made her do it, think she meant subconscious.....

At work a while ago a load of people where going on a night out to the dogs.. A French guy shouted across the office to one of young customer service girls as she was leaving for the night 'Are you going dogging tonight'... The whole place erupted.. he had no idea why..

years ago i was in asda with an ex, when she asked "d'ya know what really gives me the shits?" being in my usual mood, i said "anal sex? a cock up the arse? bum sex? fudge pecking? nob in the shit shaft?" her reply was awesome... she shouted over me with this......"NO! PENIS! ARRRGGHHH I MEAN PEANUTS"
everybody in earshot span round to look at her and she didn't speak to me for an hour or so after.

She's just come out with another...

I, for some random reason, mentioned Dennis The Menace, followed by "you know the kid from the Beano", she then says she didn't remember the albino kid that he hung around with, sure she hears what she wants sometimes.....

Check out this thread mate

I was at mates house around Xmas time a good few years ago and she was going out with a Turkish guy and his english was fairly good.

We were talking about what we wanted for Xmas and my mates boyfriend said very innocently "I want a new penis for Xmas."
I said "You want what for Xmas" thinking i had misheard. He said it again. Well i started laughing and said "What's wrong with the one you have?" and he just looked at me thinking Oh my God what have i said.

He had to look in his English - Turkish translation book to see what he had said
Once he realised what he had actually said - the look on his face was priceless

What he had meant to say was I want a new Pine tree for Xmas

Apparantly in Turkey they have "penis trees" - as penis is pine in Turkish

Whilst holding hands with my youngun this morning waiting to cross the road surrounded by other parents i was explaining how you have to keep a sharp eye open for cars and just as the coast was clear a car come speeding round the corner and i shouted out loud - LIKE THIS FUCKIN TWAT i didnt bother to look around to see who looked at me as i was to busy givin the eye to the twat in the focus sport thing