Thread: Inapropriate Jokes..

If you get offended don't read.

Apart from getting life...
Josef Fritzl was sentenced to
24hrs community service today.
He is going to spend it,
trying to teach the Mccanns
how to lock a f*cking door!


Elizabeth Fritzl attended
court having had a full
cooked breakfast, though
someone should have told
her she still had Daddies sauce
round her mouth and down
her top

Jade Goody has sealed yet another exclusive television deal. She's announced that she will be appearing in "Most Haunted" sometime in early April!

What makes 9 out of 10 people happy?

Gang Rape!! :shock:

Last night I shagged a girl with Brittle bones disease... what a f*ckin little cracker!!


Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with tinsel, just for the Christmas period.


Police have admitted they made mistakes in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes. It was his brother Dennis they were after.

What will Jade Goody be doing this Christmas?

Babysitting for David Cameron.



David Cameron was having a roast dinner yesterday when he noticed something was missing. Then he realised it was his cabbage...

I found all those on another forum I frequent, proper wrong!!
#goes into kitchen for sly laugh#

Not all that topical now but:

A little bit of Abdul on the floor
A little bit of Ahmed on the door
A little bit of Sanjay in the hall
A little bit of Imran up the wall.....


Ladies & Gentlemen this is the Mumbai No. 5

I don't think I'll be telling any of these jokes at work.

Originally Posted by Thrash

What makes 9 out of 10 people happy?

Gang Rape!! :shock:

Originally Posted by Wigs

I don't think I'll be telling any of these jokes at work.

That's probabbly for the best mate, you could get lynched otherwise

Originally Posted by mushroomz

That's a good one!!

I feel really bad but I laughed at all of them .

Don’t you just hate it when people come knocking on your door begging for handouts.
A girl knocked on my door last night asking for a donation for the local sperm-bank, so I gave her a mouthful.

After packing the last of his belongings Pete hears Jordan
shouting from the garden shed
"What about this f*ckin' spade?"
----"He's not mine you c*nt so fuck off"

Teacher says to little Tommy."Why weren't you at school yesterday" Tommy says "My grandfather got burnt"
Teacher says "badly?" Little Tommy says "Yeah,they dont fuck about at crematoriums".

A bomb was found outside a mosque in Stockport today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push the bomb inside.

What do 54,000 UK women who suffer domestic violenceevery year have in common??!!!

They don't f#*king listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
x_x

Originally Posted by mushroomz

A bomb was found outside a mosque in Stockport today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push the bomb inside.

Wrong but

A girl is standing at the gates of heaven,and she hears horrible screams
of pain coming from inside.So she asks St Peter what is causing it.
St peter looks down at her and says
"That's the sound of Angels getting holes drilled in their backs for wings and their heads for halos"
The girl looks up at him and says
"I think I'd rather go to hell!!!"
St Peter replies "In hell you will be raped and buggered"
She replies "Yeah but I already have the holes for that"

the only thing Chelsea have lifted all season is Pat Lampards coffin! Ewww! x_x

Originally Posted by selwyn8

the only thing Chelsea have lifted all season is Pat Lampards coffin! Ewww! x_x

x_x x_x x_x x_x

Edit: Sorry!!!!

Originally Posted by waard

Originally Posted by selwyn8

the only thing Chelsea have lifted all season is Pat Lampards coffin! Ewww! x_x

x_x x_x x_x x_x

Edit: Sorry!!!!

Oof .

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was
climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a
headache."

"Perfect," her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering
my dick with aspirin. You can take it orally, or as a suppository,
it's up to you."

Victoria Beckham has announced she had an affair with Micheal Jackson, Jackos lawyer said its all lies as he was in Brooklyn at the time.

How to satisfy a woman

praise her
pamper her
humour her
cuddle her
hold her tight
kiss her
phone her
text her
charm her
romance her
talk to her
listen to her
respect her
LOVE her



How to satisfy a man

SUCK HIS KNOB!!!!


So True!

How is MJ the same as Newcastle United?

...They're both black and white and thay both went down in '09