Thread: Inapropriate Jokes..

Why is it difficult for a woman over 70 to have a smear test?

You ever tried seperating a cheese toastie???

:ymsick:

Originally Posted by swipezster

Why is it difficult for a woman over 70 to have a smear test?

You ever tried seperating a cheese toastie???

:ymsick:

:ymsick:

Originally Posted by swipezster

Why is it difficult for a woman over 70 to have a smear test?

You ever tried seperating a cheese toastie???

:ymsick:

Kin ell mate!!

Originally Posted by George

Originally Posted by swipezster

Why is it difficult for a woman over 70 to have a smear test?

You ever tried seperating a cheese toastie???

:ymsick:

Kin ell mate!!

tell me about it. I received it as a text message the weekend, and I thought that I'm so oldskool, it'd only be fair if I shared :ymhug:

Originally Posted by swipezster

Why is it difficult for a woman over 70 to have a smear test?

You ever tried seperating a cheese toastie???

:ymsick:

Brilliant!!!!!!!! :ymapplause:

Originally Posted by swipezster

Why is it difficult for a woman over 70 to have a smear test?

You ever tried seperating a cheese toastie???

:ymsick:

your a bad man

What gets long when you jerk it
fits between breasts
slides in a hole
& loves to be pulled?







































A seatbelt, you PERVERT

I notice there were concerns over Michael Jackson's funeral. They thought that if he was cremated, then he'd actually melt due to all the plastic surgery he's had.

Even worse, if they recycled him into a carrier bag, he'd still be a danger to young kids

If the answer is "A Cockrobin", what is the question?















































"What's that up my arse Batman?"

Originally Posted by swipezster

I notice there were concerns over Michael Jackson's funeral. They thought that if he was cremated, then he'd actually melt due to all the plastic surgery he's had.

Even worse, if they recycled him into a carrier bag, he'd still be a danger to young kids

Yes mate

now some of these are funny shit ha ha ha

Woman pisses man off - woman gives man blowjob and man forgives woman.

Man pisses woman off - man gives woman flowers, chocolate, new dress, new shoes, more flowers, foot massage, bubble bath, diamond necklace, even more flowers and woman will think about forgiving man.

Don't fucking complain about equal pay when you have fuck all to spend it on!

What does michael jackson and santa have in common?.....They both go into little boys rooms and empty there sacks!

What did the blind, deaf & dumb kid get for his christmas?
leukemia !!

How do you know when an Ethiopian woman is pregnant?
She pulls out her tampon and it's half eaten.

Originally Posted by swipezster

What gets long when you jerk it
fits between breasts
slides in a hole
& loves to be pulled?


lol

what about this

What ends in "unt" and smells like fish??


















No not **** u dirty shite, its Rex Hunt lol







































A seatbelt, you PERVERT

how do you get a nun pregnant?


fuck her!



how do you get an iraqi pregnant?

cum on her feet, the flies will do the rest for you :ymsick:

lol !! still lolling !! ... and still, but i cant get the cheese toastie image out of my head !! ... lollololling ...

Bit old now, but I laughed my tits off at the time:

Some good news has happened due to Jade Goody's death.

She managed to sell her hairdryer on eBay

Just made this one up:

The press got the diagnosis for German golakeeper Robert Enke's death wrong.
He didn't have suicidal tendencies, just egotistical ones.

He thought he was that good, he could stop a train.

Yay or Nay?

Woman goes to a gynecologist complaining of pains in her abdomen.

The doc goes down and examines her then lifts his head and asks:

"What are you like at changing a nappy?"

Woman says "Am i pregnant?"

Doc says "No, you have bowel cancer"

What's black, and makes women cry?



Gordon Brown's handwriting.

Whats black on top and white on the bottom?

95% of all rapes.


How do you confuse an archaeologist?

Show him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.

I read a book called 'The Secret Life of Adolf Hitler'. It told me things that I never knew. For instance, when Hitler was having sex he liked to pee on people. That put me right off him.

Paddy & Murphy are out hunting in the woods, when Paddy says "I'm bursting for a shite but I haven't anything to wipe my arse with!". Murphy replies "well if you've got a spare fiver use that", so Paddygoes off for over 5 minutes and when he returnshe's got sh*t all over his hands & clothes. Murphy shouts "What the f**k happened to you?", to which Paddy looks at him and says "It's f**king hard to wipe your arse with 3 pound coins, five 20p's and two 50p's!!!!!

I hate having to crush my grans pills up and put them in her dinner. I feel really sneeky but I would never forgive myself if I got her pregnant!!!! :ymsick: